On Being Authentic

“Hi, I’m Barb. I’ve been married 45 years to Bob. We have 4 kids, one of them’s a doctor, and 7 grandkids. The youngest one is starting 1st grade this year.”

“I’m Sarah. I’ve been married 25 years to Mark. We have 2 kids. The youngest one started college this year, and we’re so excited!”

And so it went around the room. All 18 women, in their 50’s to their 80’s, introduced themselves in this same manner. I was stunned. I now know about their husbands, including some of their names and professions, their kids, and their grandkids, along with various details about names, ages, accomplishments and milestones. What I don’t know is anything about any of these women. I don’t know if they’ve had careers, hobbies, or accomplishments. I don’t know what they like or what they don’t like. I know nothing about them as human beings, except that they are wives and mothers.

As I sat and listened I realize this is not a phenomenon unique to this group of women. I think these roles are so overwhelming and all encompassing that it’s natural, at least to a certain extent. However, I don’t want to be that. I don’t want my friends to be that. In the topical discussion that followed the introductions, I learned little things here and there about some of the other women,  including two of them that have careers. I only learned that because they had to leave as soon as the meeting was done to go to work. What??? Why did you not say that before? What do you do? Are you a doctor? Do you sell Avon? Are you writing the next great American novel? Why do I not know this???

What if we all decided to draw a line in the sand? To stand up and say, “As of today, I’m me. I have accomplishments and dreams. They include a marriage [or not, as the case may be], and great kids and grandkids, but they also include…” Do you think we might have less loneliness? Do you think we might have less depression? Do you think the church might start looking more like The Church? I do. If I knew how, I’d start a campaign. A campaign to help people see themselves as more than their relationships, more than the accomplishments of their family. A campaign to help people reclaim their own identity and accomplishments.

What do you think? Are you brave enough to stick your neck out and introduce yourself as you really are? As who you really are? I think it’s time you try.

A Matching Grant!

As you might know, we have been fundraising for a few months to get a van for John and Tracie Loux . If you aren’t familiar with them, you can read about them here: Even a Hero Needs Heroes . Since we started the fund, they have adopted another little boy, Mattie. Mattie was born with Downs Syndrome and has spent the first three months of his life NICU. Once he comes home (which could be any day now) they will no longer be able to squeeze into their minivan.

All of this means this exciting news came just in time! A matching grant has been offered toward the purchase of their van! Every donation, up to $5000, will be matched, dollar for dollar! So if you have $10 to give, your donation will become $10. Pretty cool, right?  The grant deadline is February 9, 2011. Please consider giving to this great cause! Four former orphans are counting on you!

How to Contribute:

You can give by sending a check made out to Tekoa 211 to:

Tracie Loux,
12312 Askew St.
Grandview, MO 64030.

If you’re sending a check, it would be a good idea to let Tracie know to make sure it gets tallied in time for the grant. Or you can let me know, and I’ll get the message to the grant holder. Together we can make this happen!